In order to avoid a Facebook overload, but keep our families and friends informed without non-stop texting and phone calls...

I created this blog to tell the story of our Baby Boy arrival into the world as a premie.

My water broke March 22nd at 26 weeks pregnant and our Max was born March 25th just before 2:00 in the morning.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Wednesday March 28th

I am certain I have never gotten ready for the day as quickly as I did Wednesday morning including 25 minutes to pump, S and I were out the door by 8:15 in order to make it to the hospital at 9 for his cares. When I went into the room, he was on the jaundice lights and a different breathing machine though he was still on the nasal cannula. They said his bilirubin went just over the line when they checked him at 9pm the night before so they set him up on the lights. The mask they had on his face was so big it covered nearly everything from the tip of his nose clear past his forehead. I guess it was the smallest they had. Otherewise he was still doing better than expected, he was on the lowest level of the vent and nearly breathing room air.

When his 1:00pm care times rolled around his bilirubin levels had gone from 6.6 to 2.6 in just over 12 hours, apparently he just needed a little bit of help from the lights and now he was good to go. They took him off the lights and the RRT asked if I'd like to hold him. Because it is kind of a big deal to get him out of the incubator and it causes him a lot of stress, they like him to be held for long periods of time (at least 20+ minutes) so that he can have time to calm down before getting moved back.This is also why they have 'care times' The NICU  does what they call Cluster Care aka 'cares' on all the babies, because taking temperatures, diaper changes, blood pressures, etc is too much stimulation to spread out, they do it all at the same time, then let him rest for 4 hours. I believe I mentioned he was on a 3 hour schedule the first day or two but he slept and rested so well in between they decided to let him get another hour of sleep in between. He has continued to do really well on a 4 hour schedule. I was beyond excited that I would be able to hold him for that long, and assured them I would hold him as long as they let me. Unfortunately after a few minutes his CO2 levels kept climbing so he had to go back into the incubator after only a few minutes of holding him. It was a little scary because his levels weren't dropping. They decided to do a 'blood gas' test and found out that the machine was reading his levels wrong by 40. So he was totally fine which was nothing but a relief.
I stayed by his bed until Rachel arrived just in time to see him for a few minutes before the NICU closed for shift change. It was nice to sit and talk while we waited for S to get off work and then we had to head home to be with E and get our dog from my parents house. I was really sad that I didn't get to stay the rest of the evening with him, but Rachel went back after shift change and told me he was doing fine.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Tuesday March 27th

Tuesday was my discharge date from the hospital, they woke up up with needing blood work and after 3 tries in my right arm and hand the phlebotomist  realized I wasn't kidding about not having anymore blood in my right arm. They called up a second phlebotomist to try. They told me I couldn't be discharged until they could get a vial out of me. Finally they managed, but then it kept bleeding and took a while to get it to stop. yikes!

Thankfully we were able to be at the NICU for his 9:00 am care times and he is still off the ventilator! Once I was fullly discharged I went back over to the NICU while S took everything out to the car. We stayed by his bed until we absolutely had to go. I had a list of things that couldn't wait, I was very upset until Sarah said she was going to head down to Ogden at 4. I rushed home to shower, change my clothes, and finish up all my errands to make it back in time to leave with Sarah to head back to the NICU. When Sarah and I left the NICU he was struggling to breathe more than he had since he was born, but he still under the curve for jaundice so he was still doing better than expected.  When I got home, S was working on homework at the campus so he wasn't home. I tried to get some paperwork done, but it was too much so I scrubbed my bathroom. I don't really know why, and S thought I was NUTS when he came home to find me sweeping the floor and (literally) scrubbing the counter. I just had to something to keep my mind off of the fact that my baby wasn't home with me. Thankfully, I was tired since I had been getting 3-4 hours of sleep the last few days so I was able to fall asleep after a little while.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Monday March 26th

Monday morning started out quite rainy. After a wakeup call that scared the crap out of me because I thought it was the NICU, but really it was about his birth certificate, I was up and ready to go. My perinatologist came in to talk to me about our discharge date and our plans for the rest of the day, then we got ready to go for the morning. Since I arrived by ambulance on Thursday I didn't have any clothes, and hadn't thought to have Solomon bring me any from home because we thought I was going to be pregnant a while longer. I had to use a wheelchair to get to the NICU, not because I couldn't walk...but because those hospital gowns are not exactly modest :) Thankfully Aunt Sarah hand gotten me some gym pants and a tshirt late Sunday night and put them in the car. I headed over to the NICU while S went out to get them. When all of his 'cares' were finished about an hour later, one of Solomon's co workers was waiting for us, so we went back to my room and visited until she had to go back to work. We had a lot of hospital workers visit with us that day, some standard and others because he is premature. We made sure we were in the NICU for all of his care times, even though they kept changing them! The decided Max was doing well enough that they would move him from every 3 hours to every 4. I love changes like that :)

They had taken him off the vent at 1:00pm so I was scared at how he would look without it, it took me several minutes of staring at the monitors before I was convinced he wasn't going to just stop breathing. I couldn't watch them take it out, but they let me help put the nasal cannula in place around his ears.
The RRT asked me if I wanted to hold him when we were there in the afternoon. They warned me it would only be for a few minutes, but she would make it work for me. She also let us help in changing his diaper and S was able to lift him up so they could weigh him Monday was a really great day for us. He continued to stay in the stable range while I held him so she even let me go 2 minutes longer than she told me at first. It was indescribable so I won't even try.



When his night cares happened I was worried we would go in to find him back on the vent and was so beyond grateful he wasn't. So many people--even complete strangers are praying for this little guy and it sure seems to be working.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Happy Birthday Max!

S learned that March 25th is International Waffle Day so of course I had to have a waffle for breakfast to celebrate!
After breakfast, vital checks, and blood work etc were done they finally let me go down to NICU. There are no words to explain how it feels to see your baby strapped to all those monitors and machines. I was extremely grateful they exist and that they can do the job they do, but man was that hard.
I just tried to upload a picture, but blogger isn't working that well. I will only be posting pictures rarely, since this blog is not private, I don't really want his picture all over the place. You can't be to careful with the internet. We didn't bring anything when we went in the first time because there are warnings all over about how germish and gross cell phones are. That first visit was a huge blur, because most of it was them explaining all the different machines, what the numbers meant, and what he was doing well and not so well with.

Dr. Christensen also sat down with us because we got a little 'blessing in disguise' (since we are only thinking positive thoughts) They were concerned about the placement of his PICC line so they performed an x-ray to make sure it is in the right place. That is when they discovered that Max has a cyst in his right lower lung. This is when I need to stop and give Dr. Christensen the credit he deserves, because he is incredible. He has a very 'grandfatherly' manner. He has a very calming voice and his tone is almost comforting. He is beyond patient and answered every single questions we had, even when I asked him basically the same question twice. I can't remember what the medical name for it is, but we learned its very rare, its not cancerous, its a simple procedure to remove (though not right now) and it has nothing to do with him being premature nor did it cause him to be born prematurely. They will wait for him to weigh about 6 pounds or so before they remove it, unless it becomes infected. I can consider it a 'blessing in disguise' because had he been born full term, we would not have known it was there until it became infected (which will happen sooner or later no matter what) This way we can watch it carefully. Occasionally it can be detected in an ultrasound before the baby is born, but not always.

The ventilator that he is on right now puts short bursts of air into his lungs, since it is not good for his lungs to fully open and fully close. It makes his whole body shake and that is a scary thing to see, but understanding why makes it easier. Imagine him panting instead of taking deep breaths. The RRT (respiratory therapists) are telling us that he is doing very well and may take him off of it tomorrow! He is considered 'stable' and even tolerates laying on his right side, which is the side the cyst is on. He is doing better than I ever dreamed he would when my water broke.

My Dad and brother were able to visit with him (which involved us getting my brother a 'one time only pass') it was a really quick visit, but nice that he was able to see him again. He was still stable and was sleeping.

His bilirubin levels were still just barely under the point in which he has to go under the lights, which we are hoping he will be able to keep under control himself. He has been working really hard to get his eyes open, and they would have to put a mask on him to put him under the lights and my thought is that would set him back. Maybe not though, who knows.

We spent the rest of our day between my room (because the were continuing to monitor me, and then tell me I was perfectly fine and they were impressed...but wouldn't leave me alone! ;) and the NICU where we watched them take care of him while we held onto his finger or held his toes since those were the few parts of him not covered in a wire or tape.

Later that night Sarah visited us just before the evening care times and went with us to watch, she had to leave in the middle so she wasn't able to touch him, but promised she would be back. After everything was finished we went back to the room and tried to sleep. That is the one thing everyone keeps telling me to do, but how can I? Between worrying, getting my vitals checked, and pumping I'm not sure when I'm supposed to be sleeping. We will make it work and S has been the most phenomenal man these last few days and he has no doubts everything will work out for the best.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Saturday to Sunday

Early Saturday morning I woke up around 3:00 am feeling kind of yucky. The awesome nurses here helped me try a few things to feel better so I could get back to sleep, and after eating some graham crackers and resting I was able to fall back asleep after an hour or so.
I woke up for good when they checked my vitals at 9:00am and I felt good. Around 11:00 am S finally felt comfortable about going home for a bit. Its about a 30 minute drive and he needed to get some clean clothes, shower, and take care of a few little errands.

About 11:15 am I had a contraction, but it got better when I stood up so I decided not to worry about it. I ate some food and got on Facebook.

Then my good friend Janis came to visit me, with a bucket full of fun things to help me pass the time while I was bored. It was so nice to be able to talk to her!! We chatted for a while then she decided to go. Unfortunately, she missed Solomon by about 3 minutes! So as you can see it was a very uneventful day as far as bb went. No need for fetal heartbeats nor monitors of any kind. They just checked my vital signs through the day and that was about it.

A bit later there was a few random contractions, so they decided to hook me up to those two monitors. I was using them when my family came so they got to see his heartbeat on the monitors. My family was here for a long time and the random contractions continued but they were not consistent in intensity nor time. After my family left I ate dinner and S and I talked quietly while I tried to be extra calm and relaxed. Some time later I got a strong contraction in my back. At that point I quit eating and things started happening quickly. My awesome Perinatologist was called and they decided to move me back to Labor and Delivery this was about 9:00 pm and everyone started guessing he would be here before midnight. I told S that if we could make it past midnight I would 'technically' be 27 weeks even though he was measuring a little smaller than that. When they checked me I was a 4 and station '0' and things continued to move quickly and I started to wonder if we would make it to 11:00pm, let alone midnight. The contractions had moved almost completely to my lower back and felt more like I imagined that they would. Once I was settled into L&D everything slowed down and S and I actually decided to try and sleep and rest. I lay quietly listening to his heartbeat and saying prayers of gratitude that it was staying steady and not dropping with any contractions. I even was able to fall asleep for a few minutes at a time but tried to listen constantly to his heartbeat. I had the greatest nursing staff that was a perfect match for me, They explained everything that was happening and didn't hesitate to be completely honest and calm, but stuck to business without sugar coating anything. They decided to do a check just in case and I should have looked at the clock, but I didn't...sorry. He was coming, and NOW! So they rushed me into an operating room just in case they needed to do a C-section and in case he needed resuscitation. The NICU team was notified as was my Doctor and everyone met us in there. S put his fun little outfit on and then it was time. At first they didn't want me to push because he is super super tiny, but then he got a bit stuck since I was only dilated to a 6. I struggled to get the pushing right at first because how they wanted me to do it just wasn't working for me! Everyone was so positive and encouraging and no matter what was happening I could hear the reassurance from S. I vaguely recall them asking S if he could see his head and knowing that he was right there along with S squeezing my hand was just the right combination.  Next thing I know everyone started yelling for me to quit pushing! He was out! The nurse yelled out '58' and I had to think about what time she meant (1:58 am) I honestly didn't expect him to look the way he did. I almost didn't want them to show me because I assumed he was going to be blue and limp. In reality he actually started making some 'cries' they sounded more like 'meows' but it was the best sound ever! He was also quite pink and he has LONG legs. Prayers of gratitude were sent again because he was a lot bigger than I anticipated. S was allowed to follow the NICU team to the other room and after all was said and done with me they wheeled my bed by so I could peek again. The expression on S face was nothing I had ever seen before and I didn't know how to read it. There was a huge crowd around our little guy but it seemed synchronized and no one was acting like there was anything too wrong. I lay in recovery and repeated the "Serenity Prayer" like S and I had done earlier in the day while I waited for news. When Susan told me he was 2 pounds 1oz it was like a wall of relief, HE BROKE THE 2 POUND POINT!! I had to ask her to repeat his length because I had gotten focused on his weight. Who knew 14.25 inches could be SO big and SO tiny at the same time.
After a million years went by Susan informed me that because bb was doing so well they hadn't taken him back to NICU yet and asked if I thought I could get in a wheelchair to see him. ARE YOU KIDDING? Of course I could do that you crazy lady! So we did! This time I saw expressions that were familiar to me on S face, I KNEW instantly that things were better than our expectations. I tried to split my few moments between listening to the NICU doctor and NNP while I stared at my sweet little man and tried to memorize all of his details. The things that stuck out to me was how much hair he had, sure it is whitish-blonde but it was certainly there. His long legs seem to match his giant hands (yes...I said giant to describe a 2 pound preemie but his hands compared to the rest of his body is shocking) I was even able to hold his tiny hand with my finger to keep him from pushing the ventilator out of his mouth. Our bb facial expressions were amazing as he certainly showed us he was very unhappy with all that was going on, and one of the NICU nurses showed me we could see his little tongue from the right side. Maybe he will be the kind of kid who sticks his tongue out when he is concentrating on something.  A few minutes later they had him prepared to move and S and I were told it was time to leave. We were taken back to the regular room and a blur of blood pressures and vital checks happened while S notified only a few people our bb had arrived (since it was almost 4:00 am at this point) I was finally able to stop shaking and things calmed to the point we were able to make the final decision about his name. We had 2 names but decided to wait until he was born to choose.
Maximus is a BIG name but he will grow right into it :)

Friday, March 23, 2012

Day 2

Happy Friday Everyone!

Okay, so we had an ultrasound and this is what we've learned.

  • bb is head down, but staying put right now. No contractions here!
  • Ultrasound estimates 1 pound and 14 ounces right now, so we are almost 2 pounds
  • his heartbeat has stayed the exact same the whole time, so they don't feel like they need to monitor 24/7 they will check for 30 minutes twice a day as long as nothing changes! Yay for him being good!

  • In fact things look so good, they are moving me out of the Labor and Delivery and into a regular room! This is great news, meaning everything is going so well my risk of delivering is minimal. They have unhooked me from everything except antibiotics, iv, and compression things on my legs to prevent blood clots since I have to stay in bed.

  • his heart has all 4 chambers, nice round belly, his spine is closed, his brain has the right fluids in the right places, the umbilical cord has all 3 vessels and there is blood flow to the kidneys, liver, and bladder.

  • we didn't get any verification 'he' is still a he, but our January ultrasound was pretty clear so...
     speaking of January..he didn't hesitate to show us he is a boy, but kept his face hidden. This time he was curled in a pretty tight ball, but we got a great profile picture this time :)

  • the not so good news is... a 'normal' amount of amniotic fluid is 20 (I'm not sure if it is oz or cc or...?) We were hoping for at least 5, unfortunately I am at 2.07  There is nothing we can really do about that actually except lay down and keep all 2.07 inside me with the hope we can even get a little more in there. 
profile view with his hand under his chin  3/23

Day 1

Getting settled into MckayDee was very smooth, S found me almost immediately and they got me hooked up to everything. I'm on an IV plus 2 antibiotics to prevent infections so that i can keep this bb in as long as possible. I was given a steroid injection in my hip sometime in the blur of the Brigham City hospital to help his brain and lungs a little quicker. I will get one more today.

The NICU doctor came and discussed risk factors, complications, and statistics for this little bb. He was positive and informative, but didn't' sugar coat anything..which was greatly appreciated. They are estimating he is just under 2 pounds right now, but he is strong and has maintained a heart-rate that has been called 'perfect' 'great' 'awesome' 'steady' and 'right were we want it'. Later today we will also get an ultrasound that will give me more details we are needing (such as if he is breech or head down, a good 'guestimate' on his hight and weight, and most importantly how much fluid he has) While I haven't stopped completely I have lost only an ounce or two each time I stand instead of the cups I did before.

I was only on oxygen for the ambulance ride here as a safety protocol, we are on 24/7 fetal heart rate monitor and contraction monitors, and iv antibiotics until at least Saturday.

How it all began!

Thursday morning was like any other morning. I dragged myself out of bed, dressed/hair/makeup done, take the dog out to go potty, breakfast, then head to work. :)

That was all that was normal about the day.

I did a home visit with an individual for work, and was sitting at the computer with them. When it was time to leave at 11:00am I stood up and I leaked a little. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom, so imagine my embarrassment that I had just tinkled in my pants!! I got out to my Jeep and decided to drive home and change my pants before heading to my next visit.

When I got out of the Jeep at home, there was another leaking, this time more significant. I went to the bathroom but noticed it didn't smell like pee. Since I am only 26 weeks pregnant I quickly sat down to "GOOGLE" the likelihood he kicked my bladder and I peed.

When I stood up again, I soaked through my underwear and the sweatpants I had changed into. I called S and we discussed what to do, I didn't want to go to the hospital because I was still convinced I had just peed my pants. He told me to call a midwife and talk with them, then call him back. They didn't answer but when I stood up for the 3rd time and soaked through everything I thought 'better safe than sorry' and decided to drive myself to the local hospital.

I soaked through everything again, and by the time I checked in and changed into a gown I was standing in a puddle.  The sweet nurse told me she was going to do a strip test, and if the test turned blue it was amniotic fluid. Sure enough, it was blue..so she ordered another 'more reliable' test and they called my doctor. They told me they were going to send me by ambulance to a hospital in Ogden and asked if I had a preference.

I called S again ''It was my water, I'm at the Brigham City hospital and they want to know which hospital I want to be sent to'' He answered immediately to have me go to McKayDee hospital and that he would meet me there.

Then I was all alone, and scared...so I started making phone calls. First, my boss where I left her a voicemail. Then my friend Janis who works at the front desk at the other office. She assured me she would take care of the rest of my schedule and day and notify my boss when she saw her next. I started to call my mom, but then the doctor came in so I had to let her go.

They began to get me set up for the ambulance ride to Ogden including checking me. I was 2cm dialated 100% effaced, but I was not having contractions. I couldn't keep track of time, and sometimes things felt like seconds, other times it felt like hours. One of the EMT's has known my family for a long time. She told me to call my mom to tell her if she could get here in time she could ride in the ambulance, but they wouldn't wait for her.

At 12:45pm I was loaded into an ambulance, and my mom pulled into the parking lot. It took her a minute to find me, but then we got going.